Dave's Ashes Blog

2005-09-19T07:05:00.000-07:00

Its worth the wait, here is Stewart's end of series summary:

It was 3am. I woke with a start and sat bolt upright. The back of my head felt cold. I grabbed it and my hand came away wet. My chest felt the same. A quick inspection inadvertently coated my hand in sweat. I allowed myself a Dennis Lillee flick of the forefinger to remove some. Had 70s cricket really reached that far into my being ?

I was cold all over. My pillow and the right side of my face were sopping wet, a combination of sweat, tears and saliva. I must have been dreaming.

In the distance I heard a car alarm, no, my alarm clock.

Whatever I was dreaming about had left me exhausted. My chest felt tight, nervous, worried.

A second later, the clock radio turned itself on.

I was awake.

Oh God, the Ashes.

It all flooded back.

*
I remembered the optimism of the morning and the majesty of Warne’s bowling. McGrath had taken a hat trick, removing the danger man Pieterson with the last ball of the three. Warne and McGrath had lead one final wondrous recovery from near disaster, pushing each other to further greatness with a bravely emotional, loving embrace as they walked onto the field. There were only two players as the team entered the arena that morning, two superstars with a faceless supporting cast. They wouldn’t let us down. I no longer wanted to be diplomatic, no longer wanted to acknowledge the other team’s good play. For an hour, I was another Ugly Australian, yelling at my TV and imploring my team to crush the other to make me feel good. We were on top again and I loved it. Across the country, the same scene played out across millions of households.

Then the dream crumbled.

Pieterson had taken McGrath’s hat trick ball on the shoulder, not the glove. Gilchrist had dropped Pieterson with a batsman’s keeping technique. The great warship, HMAS Australian Cricket, finally ran aground with Warne’s dropped dolly.

“Have we dropped the Ashes ?”, I had texted Dave.

“Hard to tell, long way to go”, had come his testy, nervous reply. I felt for Dave and Warne. Both had tried their guts out this series and both wanted it bad. Only one would prevail.

I had watched Ponting allow Lee to bowl England to the brink of victory. Pieterson had shown me some strokes that were as amazing as Ponting’s captaincy was quizzical. Steve Waugh would never have approved of smiling at the other team. He surely dropped dead at the sight of Ricky moving the field every second ball and listening to the 3 and 4 teammates gathered around him between overs, offering advice on how to run the team. I almost had.

All of that was a distant memory now. I had been asleep for over two hours. Anything could have happened. Surely we had won by now. Sleeping usually made scary monsters go away. I was ugly again.

*
I rushed the TV, fumbled for the remote and made it come alive. I saw covers on the middle of the pitch.

My heart sunk. They don’t cover a pitch at the end of the game.

Mark Nicholas sounded happy; joyous probably. The crowd were cheering. My heart sank further.

I remembered, earlier in the day, telling an English friend of mine, Andy, that I had calculated that he would be able to open the champagne at about 3am to celebrate an English series win. My phone glowed with a text from him.

“It happened almost exactly as you said it would”.

My heart hit bottom and bounced. My eyes filled. I knew I was being silly but I didn’t care. I couldn’t stop myself. For a second or two, I sobbed.

The phone wasn’t finished yet. Another text, this one from Dave.

“Sorry, Stewart but this is one of the greatest days of my life”.

Tough times in sport show character in the participants. Passionately barracking against true friends, whilst strengthening the friendship, does the same. It felt good that I could still feel good for my friends. I knew that this would make Dave and Andy happy. I valued their happiness. My spirits rose a little.

With almost no warning, the umpires began the walk from the grandstand, out, onto the ground. They were slow, ceremonial. I wasn’t sure what they were doing and I sure wasn’t listening to the commentary.

Their feet touched the grass and the crowd roared the roar of victors.

They seemed to slow down even more as they reached the middle. Savouring the moment no doubt, probably doing their best to add a little to the theatre of the occasion. They were dressed for the occasion in black and white dinner suits. Tuxedos with sneakers.

The camera angle changed. It seemed to be one of those hip mounted live action cameras. It reminded me of the Rugby World cup final. I ignored the irony.

The cameraman walked close behind the umpire and focused sharply on his hand as it reached down to remove the bails from the stumps at one end.

'AND ENGLAND”,

Boomed Michael Atherton, through a smile so bright that I could hear it,

“HAVE REGAINED THE ASHES”.

The bails were lifted and the stumps pulled out. Just like that, the series I had waited over two years for, the series that had generated more talk, more emails, more text messages, more conversation and more human interaction than I ever thought possible, had ended. The result I had been predicting for weeks had occurred. After all of my own build up, I wasn’t ready for it. I felt tired and deeply, deeply disappointed.

Funny, I have a picture perfect recollection of those final seconds of the series. One hand gently raising both bails, slowly and deliberately. I have little memory of what I did for the next hour and a half. No doubt I watched the English celebrations and texted Dave and Andy. I tried to remember what I was doing when England last won. I was not yet 13. I was now 31. It was a lifetime away. I felt old and depressed. My life had changed so much and yet so little.

Somehow, I ended up back in bed sometime after 4am. I dropped off about 5am after I finally got fed up with the birds heralding an English victory and popped in earplugs. I pulled the covers over my eyes to block out the freshly risen sun and crammed in 90 minutes of fitful sleep.

The alarm clock radio woke me up in what seemed like, well, close to 90 minutes. Instantly someone, Bumble or Agnew, I forget which, was interviewing Flintoff in the English dressing room. My mind reeled. Surely I was dreaming. I wasn’t.

I had been woken up with a passionate Flintoff relaying how it felt to have regained the Ashes. Less than ideal in the circumstances.

I felt fuzzy and disorientated, a hangover with no drinking. It seemed as if I had been inside for days, a week since I had been at work. I must have shaved, showered and dressed. Why had Freddie felt the need to make sure he woke me up personally ?

Down the stairs I floated, through the front door and out into the light. It was too bright to be respectful. I drove in a haze to the station. A few minutes later I was standing on the platform; normal spot, normal time, abnormal morning.

Part of me was angry that the other hundreds of commuters seemed like they had slept a full 8 hours, with not a care in the world. Why had the entire place not stopped, why was everyone else not feeling the same pain that I felt ? I wanted to grab people and shake the apathy out of them, one by one.

The other part of me was embarrassed that I was thinking like child. “Its just a few games of cricket”, I repeated silently to myself. “Surely you don’t still take it that seriously at your age” I cursed. Worse still, deep down I was ashamed that the last time I had felt quite like this, like the world should stop turning out of respect, was the morning after my grandfather had died and like the overly dramatic 17 year old that I was, and still am in lots of ways, mused that perhaps the sun shouldn’t have risen that awful morning. I hoped the lack of sleep was making me overly emotional. I still hope so.

*

The train stopped, I pushed my way in and it set off towards my work and my responsibilities for the day; responsibilities in a world where Australia was the second best cricket team in the world and we no longer held the Ashes.

My country and my people seemed very small all of a sudden.

The company I work for is not good at systems or process. Instead, it relies on people to overcome most things. Our people are important and it is important to keep them happy. One way we do this it to have a raised table in the kitchen area that is stocked every day with at least 3 different newspapers. People can often be found glancing at them for a few seconds before their meeting room is ready for them.

A few days before the final test started, I walked past the newspapers and saw a guy reading the sports pages; cricket of course. I had never spoken to him before, never really seen him before actually. I decided to spend the few days before the test started trying to understand how people felt about the impending loss. If nothing else, it might be good for Dave’s Blog.

I approached the newspaper reader, peered over his shoulder and said

“We are in trouble I think”.

Well, off he went. He had many opinions, not all of which I agreed with but all I which I was excited about. A total stranger felt so strongly about this series that he and I talked like old friends. I never asked his name and I have seen him since but neither has the acknowledged the other. We have no need to. Cricket bonded us briefly. The series over, the bond is broken.

Andy Richmond, of the 3am text message fame, was experiencing the Ashes a little differently. Andy has been in Australian for 5 years or so now. He has an Australian wife and an Australian child (almost 2 by now I think). He enjoys living in Australia but, understandably, remains passionately English in many respects. He is the only person I know who would move to Melbourne and declare that he loved it because, “It has real cold, just like home. I even get to wear big heavy jackets”

Everyone he comes into contact with loves Andy. His happy, outgoing personality lets him get away with all manner of things that most other people would pay dearly for. So, when Andy told me that he had 3 cases of beer riding on the result of this series in multiple bets with multiple people from work, I could imagine the grief he was giving out, and no doubt receiving, during the final days. Andy’s build up to the final test was intense. He was outwardly confident but inwardly hoping like hell that his team won because he knew that weeks of jokes lay ahead of him if they didn’t. Andy was a crash or crash through sort of guy. He was hoping not to crash.

Damien, Damo, Hocking, was having a similar, yet different experience to Andy. Damo was a gifted cricketer. I played half a season with him and couldn’t understand why the team kept calling him “The Wizz”. Then I kept to him.

Damo had arrived at the ground “A little under the weather”. The true distance below the weather is best not described here. It suffices to say that a very grey looking Damo was made to take the new ball into the wind in 41C heat as penance for not arriving in top fitness. He bowled 9 overs of pace, moving the ball late in the air both ways at will, bowling bouncers and cutting the ball in and out, all without really opening his eyes fully or waking up. He had 3 for not many by the time he started vomiting at the beginning of his run up and the captain finally thought he had learnt his lesson. I later batted with him and his technique was straight out of the cricket academy.

“The Wizz” of course stood for “The Wizard” and a wizard he was. Could have worked a little on his out of match lifestyle though.

In the week leading up to the final test, Damo was living in London. Another “just going for 3 weeks this time” had of course turned into a few contracts and a year quickly being mapped out. In a cruel twist of fate, Damo had just started a contact with Channel 4. In true Damo fashion, he had easily gotten into the swing of things, ending every email sentence with “cause I’m in Telly now”.

Like Andy, Damo is well liked by everyone who meets him. Like Andy, Damo was living in opposition turf. Like Andy, Damo had of course been giving as good as he got.

“We had better win otherwise I will be the butt of jokes for weeks to come”.

Unlike Andy, he was at the wrong end of the result and is finding life a little difficult at the moment.

Crash or crash through is usually only advisable if you can count on crashing through. Damo crashed. Andy crashed though. All depends on your point of view I guess.

Generally people in Australia seemed to be prepared for a series loss. We had been outplayed and no one really thought we deserved to win. Not everyone was going to accept the loss the same way though.

In those final, optimistic days, people broke into 3 camps. First, the small group that hated everyone for seeming to will the old enemy to victory. Second, the “It will be good for cricket” group. Thirdly and lastly, The Blamers. This last group knew we were going to lose but wanted someone, anyone, to blame.

My mate Alex’s Dad David seemed to be firmly in the first camp. A few of us exchanged emails and most, especially Jason, were firmly in the “Good for cricket” camp. David was copied on a few emails and finally could hold back no longer.

“Is this what you wanted Jase ? Is this really what you wanted ? For England to win ?”

David, not unfairly, remembered Botham calling us convicts and taking the final catch to stop Alan Border once pulling a test out of the fire with Jeff Thompson. I am sure he remembered Chris Tavere as well. Heck, we all remembered Chris.

David wasn’t alone. A minority of Australians definitely didn’t want to lose and wanted no part of the “good for the game” group.

The “good for the gamers”, of which I was a member until the optimistic, heady first hours of the final day, spent the week before the final test telling anyone that would listen that whilst they wanted Australia to win, it didn’t really matter if England won because …

'It would be good for the game”.

Members of this camp usually delivered the speech a little too quickly, like medicine that had to be taken because it was good for you, but which you could never quite understand the need for it to taste so damm bad. They wore a fixed, slightly crazed smile that showed lots of teeth and their eyebrows were sitting noticeable higher on their head than normal. Those smiles had falseness and panic written all over them. If a visitor from a non cricket playing country arrived at the house of someone from this camp, they would have been excused for calling the police to report that David Icke had possessed their friends.

I think most Australians found themselves aligning with The Blamers by the time the test started. The most famous set of Blamers had their own TV show, Under The Grandstand. This is not the easiest television show to explain.

Every Saturday and Sunday night during lunch in the Test, we crossed to the bowels of the grandstand at Waverly Oval. Waverly Oval is the headquarters of one of Sydney’s grade clubs (people who play first grade for these clubs are eligible for selection in the NSW side). This suburban grandstand was well maintained and had 2 large rooms beneath it, one of which had a bar.

Every lunch, these 2 rooms were filled with about 100 fans, a band, host Steve Abbott and co host Indira Naidoo. Somehow, 25 minutes of live, unscripted, uninterrupted television was broadcast. Host Steve had been a qualified umpire and he wore a track suite with “Relax, I’m a qualified cricket umpire”. Throughout the show, he continually broadcast footage of him with various Australian players saying “I’m relaxed”. Stuart McGill was the most adventurous, sitting on a sofa saying, “I’m relaxed” whilst a completely naked Steve Abbott sat next to him with legs open wide at the camera. It was that sort of show.

After weeks of watching our test team crashing to defeat after defeat whist all the while declaring that they were relaxed, I couldn’t help question whether we really prepared as well as we could have. After all, every piece of footage seemed to be from inside a hotel bar. Anyway, I digress.

At lunch on the 4th day, the band struck up a song, the main lyrics of which were

“It’s un-Australian not to blame someone,
It’s un-Australian not to blame someone,
It’s un-Australian not to blame someone,
It’s un-Australian not to blame someone”

At the same time, host Steve ran around the room and asking various audience members who was to blame for our impending doom. There were diverse reactions, from drunken ramblings(yes, it really was that sort of show) to the captaincy to McGrath’s mucking around before the 2nd test to host Steve for “relaxing” the team too much.

“Good to see that the country is trying to cope”, I thought.

The 25 minutes of manic television ended as it always did with co host Indira, tongs in hand, manning the large double BBQ at the back of the grandstand, ably assisted by whomever was the special guest that night while Steve said goodbye and then tried to throw down the stumps that the camera had parked itself behind. Unlike most nights, neither the ball nor the stumps were alight. Like most nights, Steve missed but was at least fully clothed.

I played my first day of cricket after the series loss yesterday. The consensus of the dressing room was that Flintoff seemed likeable but Pieterson was “a wanker”.

We batted first and I opened. I was bowled by the second ball of the match by a kid not much more than half my age. Pitched on leg, cut away and hit the top of off. He ran towards me, fist pumping and mouth curled into a snarl. “Good ball”, I mouthed, doing my best Matty Hayden.

We were bowled out for 110 with the highest partnership being the last.

We bowled and lacked intensity. My keeping started like my batting with one that didn’t carry hitting something and getting past me for one. A full one down leg from our quickest bowler hit a funny spot and reared over my head for 4 byes. The same bowler pushed another one way down leg. I dove but couldn’t get across far enough to stop the wide. It went for 2. The umpire, the same kid that bowled me, signalled byes. I yelled at him, politely enquiring as to the basis for his small error in judgement.

“Swung when it went past the batsman”.

I ended the day with a duck from 2 balls and 7 byes in an hour out of a score of 1/41.

I finally finished my Ashes series, 5 days after they officially ended, with yet another text to Dave. I outlined the day’s misadventures and ended with

“Is this how cricket is going to be now that we don’t have the Ashes ?”.

I didn’t wait for the reply. I took myself of the bed and was still mumbling when I dropped off.

“It’s un-Australian not to blame someone,
It’s un-Australian not to blame someone”

How they fared

Increased their reputations

Langer – Got runs and looked comfortable against the best all round attack in a decade. Showed how determined and slightly crazy he was when he declared that he was aiming to return in 2009.

Strauss – Came into the series quite overrated I thought. Looked average at first, with a back foot aiming at cover, waiting for the short ball and without much in between. Came back to score 2 centuries and form a very solid first wicket partnership for England.

Trescothick – I still can’t understand how anyone with feet movement likehis can play test cricket but ….. far outperform his last Test series against Australia. Looked a solid test player and got noticeably less edges, at least early in his innings

Vaughan – Had trouble placing him. Played only one real innings of substance throughout the series but captained far above the level that I thought he would operate at.

Pieterson – I personally thought he would be well and truly found out in the Tests. How wrong I was ! It seems amazing to think now that a few short months ago we were discussing whether he should play or not. Had a form dip in the middle Tests when he forgot to play himself in before unleasing. His 158 saved the final match and won the series for his adopted country. Provided great amusement by dropping 6 out of 6 catches.

Flintoff – Aside from Warne, he was the player of the series. Michael Clarke described him as the best bowler he had ever faced. I thought he would be a bit hitting batsman capable of a 50 here and there and a lug of a bowler who could bowl some short stuff. Wrong. He was a genuine batsman with good technique and the best quick bowler in the series.

Warne – To break your family up before the series started and then take 40 wickets, the first time ever in a 5 test series, as well as playing some innings of substance including a 90 was absolutely incredible. I am sure he was captaining the team at stages. I used to think that he was an idiot who played good cricket. In this series he proved to me that he was truly the greatest spinner that ever played. Without him, we would have lost 4-1.

Giles – Got into the top category as most outside of his team mates rated him very, very lowly indeed. Showed he could take wickets in good company and even scored a few runs here and there.

S Jones – The king of swing. Has made a wonderful recovery from a terrible knee injury. Made Australian batsmen look silly.

Kept their reputations solid

Clarke – Never really hit his straps aside from a 91 that he threw away being impetuous. Looked like he has a test career ahead of him but needs to keep working and perform.

Katich – Really struggled to place Katich. Eventually placed him here as before the series started I felt he needed to prove himself as a test player. Didn’t really do anything to change my mind.

Lee – I always felt that Lee was overrated as a Test bowler and this series didn’t nothing to dissuade me. Was very effective at times and then others was too short or too full. Needs to start performing or will have a shortened, unfulfilled career.

Hoggard – Hoggard showed that he could be a wicket taker when conditions suited him. Pipped Gillespie for the Worst Hair Cut in the Sporting World record.

Harmison – Had a peerless first session of the series and some other good moments. Not a lot of brilliance in between but was usually solid.

McGrath – Took an average of 6 wickets a test in the 3 tests that he played. Showed he still has something to give in the first test. Responsible for the all time most stupid thing ever said by a professional sportsman : "5-0"

Had their reputations diminished

Hayden – Looked totally lost until the final innings of the series. Was never able to cope with the swinging ball and firmly established himself as the king of the flat track bullies.

Ponting – Captaincy really came under the microscope for the first time since taking over and he was unfortunately shown to be well short of the standard that we have come to expect. Played one innings of substance but only one.

Martyn - Got some dodgy decisions but played weakly and softly. Tour summed up when he was “jogged out” by Vaughan, hardly the best fielder in the English team.

Bell – A little harsh probably but came into the series with a great deal of promise. Unfortunately left it looking like he needed some time against a county attack.

Gilchrist – Batted like he was playing one day cricket against Zimbabwe. Needs to remember how he used to get Test runs, by building an innings and then exploding once he had runs on the board. Keeping was brilliant at times and well below Test standard others.

G Jones – Can Test keeping droop any lower ? Honestly, his keeping was just woeful and his batting not deserving of a place in the side on its own. Made Gilchrist often look like a great Test keeper, which usually takes some doing and speaks volumes.

Tait – came into his first test with a reputation for extreme pace and wicket taking balls. After his second test, I found myself agreeing with an English assessment of “Pie Chucker”. Needs to bowl less tripe which will be a struggle with his action.

Gillespie – Was treated with absolute disdain by the English batsmen. His career in finished unless something very big changes. Lets start with that haircut hey Dizz ?

Kasper – Never looked like a serious test bowler in this series. His may have played his last Test. Kasper, why didn’t you duck that bouncer in the second game ?!

2005-09-13T01:01:00.000-07:00

The Ashes

After 18 years the Ashes have come home.

Well done England, it was deserved.

Hats off to Vaughan and Fletcher. Lets not forget Hussain, he was there at the start when we started to turn things round.

I'm a bit too tired/pissed/emotional to write anymore. In the cold light of Tuesday I'll take time to reflect on what has been the greatest test series I've ever seen.

Dave.

2005-09-10T02:19:00.000-07:00

Sorry Folks,

But after the way we batted in the first innings I am praying for rain today.

Australia look well set for a big score and then they'll be opening the bowling with Warney.

Let it rain.............

2005-09-07T16:33:00.000-07:00

Here we Go........

I've avoided the hype in the build up to this test.

I'm tipping Collingwood to play.

I don't think McGrath will be fully fit.

I really regret that the ECB have already organised an open top bus tour to celebrate next Tuesday.

We've managed to persuade HR to let us watch the TV at work as long as we raise some cash for a local school at the same time.

Bring it on..........

2005-08-30T16:41:00.000-07:00

To be Australian.. Stewart Robertson

Greatness on the wane or greatness on the rise or greatness never really there ?

1. You are killing us

Cricket is a wonderful, wonderful game. I cannot remember a time in my life when I have not been obsessed with it. Literally from the first memory I have, I remember loving cricket and desperately wanting to play it. I still can’t really put my finger on why. Sure, maybe it was the lure of large moustachioed, beer drinking men being feted as athletes and national heroes (doubtful as I loved it before I was 2). Perhaps it was any young child’s natural interest in a moving ball and the skill it required to master (again doubtful, that makes me sound like a cat). Instead, I think that I just inherently understood that cricket, more than almost any other sport, shows a man’s character, what he is made of in the toughest of circumstances.

Cricket is a true endurance sport. Doubters, hear me out. Aside from ultra marathons and multi-stage cycling racers, there is no sport than goes longer than Test cricket. I would go a step further. A 5 test series with a maximum of 25 days play for the series has even the tour de France beaten. Now add in all of the lead up matches, silly ones dayers and tour games with provincial sides. Finally, add all of the days in between, throw in training, and you soon have a campaign (and it surely is a campaign) that can last up to 80 days on an Ashes series in England.

A campaign of what ? Well, certainly of the body. People used to 90 minute games such as football that involve running flat out for most of the time would dispute that of course as would rugby union or rugby league players. Lance Armstrong might have a little to say also. However, I challenge anyone to bowl 30 overs in each innings of a test and tell me they still feel fine. Try batting for 6 hours. Heck, try batting for 3 hours in 30C heat. And, no one can tell me that wicket keeping for 3 days and batting for over a day in the same match (as Gilchrist often did before this series) wouldn’t leave most people unable to walk for a week. No, playing in a single test match requires a very fit, strong person. Remaining at that level for our 80 day campaign requires fitness, luck and a really good physio.

What about the mind ? Well, the old adage of cricket being played 90% in the mind is still true in this day of blue hair streaks, earrings in both ears and random, drunken text messaging. No matter how hard you have trained or how many times you have rehearsed in your dreams, nothing is harder than having to go out and do it. So many times you see the young man, new to the team without yet having a mental log book of failures and climbs back to the top, playing fluently and easily whilst the old campaigner, nearing the end of a career to be proud of, worries about where his next run or wicket is going to come from.

Why ? Not because the young player is better. In fact, usually the older player is better practised and has been through any situation that might occur many times. Surely they are playing softer against the young man ? No, the young man’s mind is free and he spends time playing the moment only; the older player is often playing the past and the future.

Think also of a batsman out of form. So often, they just need one good shot, one ball right out of the middle and everything changes. Suddenly the feet move, the head position is right and the runs, previously impossible, start coming in thick, fast torrents. Did the batsman get better in a
single ball ? Of course not. This is an incredibly mental game.

However, ….

When the body is tired and the mind full of fears and worry, the only thing that is left is the soul. At the end of an 80 day campaign like this, a man’s character, his real character, the man he is late at night when he can’t sleep and the whole façade has slipped quietly away, shows, in fact shines, through. What is revealed is not always pretty. Hurl in an expected turn of events, slap on some pressure and add a dollop of intense scrutiny and the angel can become the devil in a twinkling of Geoffrey Boycott’s eye.

We Australians, if you haven’t already noticed, pride ourselves on our physicality. We see ourselves as coming from tough, farming stock that made good in a land that simply wasn’t, and still isn’t in some places, fit for the survival of Europeans. But we tamed it through muscle and bone and ever year that we outlast another 4 months of fires threatening our homes or tick off another decade that it hasn’t rained, we tell ourselves that we are strong and just getting stronger.

The mind ? We used to be a little anxious about the mind side. We were so caught up in trying to be physically strong that sometimes we paid little heed to the brain. Yes, Barry McKenzie, Paul Hogan and that guy in shorts that says ‘crickey’ all the time aren’t exactly great role models. But our schools are good, our universities also, and most people are as well educated as any otherwestern country. Combine that with the feeling that we always were smarter than you gave us credit for and we are a group of people that are almost aggressively intelligent; not smarter than all, just as smart but usually more prepared to try to prove it.

Character ? Australians think they have character in spades. We think when it comes to the crunch, when it really, really matters, we will be standing up to be counted when no one else will, whatever the circumstances.

Australian became a nation in 1901. Before that, we were a group of colonies with totally different systems of everything; you even needed to changes trains going over state lines as the railways tracks were different sizes (umm, still do in some places I think). By 1914, we were really still a group of colonies, a nation in name only. We came back from the war a country.

During the war, the ‘legend of the Anzac’ (Australian New Zealand Army Corps) was born. I am a little jaded and cynical about it but long story short is that a group of Australian and New Zealand soldiers were landed on the wrong beach in Turkey named Gallipoli (by an English general we keep reminding anyone that will listen). Huge losses were incurred initially and then the soldiers settled in for a war of attrition that lasted something like 8 months. Against all the odds, they lasted and finally retreated in cunning plan that Baldric from Blackadder would have been proud of. When questioned, they did it because they had to and they did it for each other.

The story of the Australian underdog prevailing in even the most dire circumstances was created in the war; the underdog that came good, that toughed it out, that did it for their mates. Remember, Gallipoli was not a famous victory. It was a debacle from start to finish and we were decimated. Yet we celebrate it over all other achievements, more than famous war battles that we prevailed in (we were in Boer, WW1, WW2, Korea, Vietnam to name a few). Gallipoli is literally scared ground and each Australian feels that they must make a journey to Gallipoli once before they die (ask any that you know, they have been, are planning a trip or want to go desperately). It is celebrated because men showed character there because they had it and they were forced to, nothing more.

This concept pervades Australian society. We have little time for anyone that doesn’t show these characteristics, at work or play. ‘Little Aussie battler’ is a common, if a little old fashioned phrase that is used to praise someone for trying, for toughing it out; we care how hard and for how long a man tries, rather than how much he succeeds. Politicians talk about ‘representing the battlers’ all the time; it is a sure winner in an election year. Our current right wing, conservative Prime Minister has some how managed to convince the voters that he is ‘in it for the battlers’ and we just can’t get rid of him as a result. Well healed middle class people pretend themselves ‘battlers’ to their less well off friends as one does not want to succeed, just to succeed in trying to succeed.

So, wonder why we are a nation that adores cricket ? Wonder why I loved it so much from such a young age ? Wonder why I said very early in this series that Steve Waugh was more than just a good cricketer to us, he WAS us ? Because cricket allows us to compete in a sport that tests the very things were feel define us.

When Steve played well felt we, not just ourselves but the entire nation and even the entire concept of our nation and our society, were going well.

Consequently, we place our cricketers on a pedestal. They play for us, our nation and our way of life. We expect them to define our values in a way that is probably a little unfair.

This is why I, like so many of my countrymen, am so, so disappointed with Australia’s display in this series. That is also why you will still find many Australians saying only how bad we played rather than how well England have performed. We have failed to show character and failed to come good when the chips were down. We can’t believe it, we can’t understand it. They must be cheating; we just must be playing badly.

We may not take this series loss well you know (at the very least, it will be a drawn series in which everyone knows you have outplayed us). I just ask you to cut us a little slack. By all means celebrate, by all means rub it in (you have waited a long time and we would do the same to you). Just when we are a bit sullen and cranky and say silly things, just remember why. We don’t really mean it and we do all know you deserve to win. You have, after all, destroyed our entire self image.

Note, I expect this information to make you happy rather than upset for us. Many of my countrymen have gloated over our cricket team for a long time and probably deserve what is coming.

2. Ricky Ponting and his foul, foul potty mouth.

Ricky has made the ultimate error in the Australian public’s eyes : he whinged. Yes, gets back to character again. Someone with a steely Australian character is never meant to whinge or complain. They are meant to get straight back on the horse and carry on trying to break it (is it a wonder why Australia youth suicide is so high, especially in country areas ?).

I hate to keep congratulating myself but remember when we talked about the difference between being a good technician, a good manager and a good leader ? Gee Wizz, if Ricky hasn’t just gone and proved me right again.

A good technician does his job well but doesn’t really hide or changes his emotions. No need on the shop floor. A manager does a little but not too much. It doesn’t matter so much if the team think you are disengaged as long as you keep feeding them the work in an orderly fashion, the technicians will keep enjoying doing the technical work.

A leader does not have this luxury. A leader leads. A leader sets an example and helps others reach that example. Simple concept, really hard to do. A leader must never totally lose his head and act irrationally and immaturely.

Ricky acted like a good, young technician; too young to understand why acting like that it has a negative effect on others and too arrogant about his technical ability to care. You would never have seen Mark Taylor swearing at Duncan Fletcher, let alone in front of a crowd of men, women and children of all ages. A lip reader at work told me that the ‘C’ word got a liberal run in the tirade. Charming. Nasser Hussein lead a team to Australian in 2002/2003 that spent all but the last 6 days of the series being hammered like a school boy team. Every evening Nasser arrived at the press conference and spent the entire time being run down, made fun of and denigrated. I was never a huge fan of the Nass but he sure showed character (I never forgave him for making 200 in the first test at Edgbaston in 1997 and helping England win a test that I sat in the stands for every ball of, alone and taking a battering from 20,000 English fans the entire time. The grandfather that keep elbowing me hard every time England did something good on the final day was almost more than I could bear).

If there was any better example of why Ricky is not captaincy material than I can’t find it. I said that an 80 day campaign could wear you down and expose your true character. I have seen into Ricky’s secret self and I don’t like what I saw. Perhaps if he ran the single hard (where is the good technician side when we need him) there would have been no need for public tantrums. This was of course bad but it continues. Each day since, Ricky keeps telling people how he doesn’t like England using a great fielder as a sub rather than the 12th man (who is the 12th man by the way, I honestly don’t know). Who cares ? Why is Ricky so caught up with minor things, we have a series to win ? A leader would help him understand the need to concentrate on the big picture.

I actually agree with Ricky. I think it is stretching the rule too far. If you have used the 12th man and someone else is legitimately injured then by all means use a sub from a county side. But use the 12th man first or pick ‘the best fielder in England’, Trevor ‘old man’ Penny, as the 12th man. We used to do this in the 80s and 90s as lots of other teams did (think Mike Veletta for Australia and Gus Logie and Roger Harper for the Windies).

But Ricky, Ricky we are in no position to complain about stretching the rules. Remember a few years ago when Mark Taylor was captain and it was unofficial Australian policy to start saying “Chooo Chooo” when the bowler turned at his mark, every time Chris Cairns was on strike. Remember how they slips cordon and gully and point all keep whispering “Choo Choo, chug a lugga chug a lugga choo choo” louder and louder until the bowler delivered the ball. Remember how you did that because Steve Waugh had the bright idea that just because Chris Cairns’s sister died in a train accident 12 months before, the NZ danger man might be a little put off Remember how Chris kept pulling away from the wicket in tears ? Remember how he didn’t play Test cricket for a year after that ? Remember how he was so disgusted that he broke the golden rule of ‘what happens on the field stays on the field’ and talked.

Where were you fielding that day Ricky ? Was that pushing the rules a little too far ? Probably. Probably makes the dodgy use of substitute fielders make a little tame by comparison.

Yep, the wheels of the bus were going round and round, round and round, round and round, the wheels on the bus were going round and round all day long. But they have now well and truly come off and the bus seems all but stationary to me; except for a barely visible, but increasing obviously slide down the hill.

3. The game itself

Its all been said really.

Great century from Flintoff, great bowling from S Jones and wonderful heart shown from Warne in bowling as well as with the bat. Hoggard bowled well for the first time in the series also (I bag Trescothick and he gets runs, I outline Strauss’s flaws and he gets 100, I say Hoggard is weak and he gets wickets. Perhaps I am to blame).

One small, interesting thing to note. England has killed Australia for the last 3 tests but has really struggled to finish each of them off. They really should have lost the second test in the end(after outplaying us the whole way), they drew the third test but should have won and should have easily won the 4th but almost lost. For England to have a long run at the top, they need to learn the final piece, the killer instinct, the winner’s touch. If they win the Ashes after this series, I can’t see how they won’t have it.

4. Possible changes.

4.1. Australia

Hayden must go. Still looks awful. I am not sure we will do it though. I would love to see Martyn go also. We shouldn’t remove too many before the last test so I doubt this will happen.

I am also not convinced that Lee and Tait in the same team are ideal. We leak too many runs. Kasper has not done much so I wouldn’t have him in either. McGrath also looks to be about to return. We have heard some talk about Australia playing 5 bowlers and needing an all rounder. How the worm turns. This sort of copying used to be beyond us. No more seemingly. We don’t need to include Watson simply because England have Flintoff (Watson neither bats nor bowls well enough to hold a place in the team for either discipline alone, a key all rounder ingrediant) and we don’t need 5 bowlers just because England have them. Lets go with our tried and tested formula of 6 batsmen, Gilchrist and 4 bowlers but lets just have the most effective
combination on the park.

So, bold move time. Drop Hayden and bring in Mike Hussey. He should have been in the squad anyway, crazy move not to include him, foreshadowed a raft of crazy decisions. Also sets up Australia to bring in the other Hussey brother and have brothers in the team again. We are always best when we have brothers in the test line up. From the golden Benaud days, to the tri-Chappell reign, to the recent Waugh twins, we are always at our best when brothers are there (brothers with 70s handle bar moustaches would see us rule the cricketing world again).

Drop Kasper for the returning McGrath and …….. drop Tait for McGill. England play our quicks easily but don’t play Warne well and I suspect McGill would get wickets as well. It’s a gamble because he can really go for some runs but he turns it more than Warnie and has more variations than Warnie these days. Lets stack all the chips on Red, a bold move for an extraordinary end to an extraordinary series (and because I want Dave to have an excuse to tell everyone about the day McGill drove the team bus, when it still had the wheels on it).

4.2. England

Surely you will sack G Jones now. Surely ? Dave tells me no but I suspect he says that to wind me up ! He misses a least 2 chances a test, chances that are either school boy misses or chances that must be taken at this level (the stumping miss of Clarke off Giles was really an incredible one for a test keeper). I know he scored 85 this test but surely you understand his keeping is going to lose you a game at some stage this series (probably already made you draw the 3rd test).

Looks like S Jones will be out with an ankle injury for the last test. A real shame as he has been on fire this series, especially the last two tests. He deserved to play in the test and give himself a chance of being on the field if the Ashes are reclaimed.

It is a tribute to England this series that I couldn’t even tell you who the England 12th man is or who might play if S Jones doesn’t. Can someone help me ?

5. Player run downs.

I think I will skip this section in this report. Instead, I will store it up and use it for my “Who has enhanced their reputation, done nothing to their reputation and ruined their reputation” section after the final test of the series.

6. Greatness

This is a GREAT Australian team full of GREAT players doing GREAT things.

Or is it ?

I think when the word ‘great’ is used in relation to cricketers, we really mean ‘full of character’ and when Australians use it about Australian cricketers, we really mean ‘full of Australian character, fighting like a little Aussie battler Anzac’. Don’t make me run you through the national subconscious again please.

I put it to you that this Australian team does have great players. Players that would stack up against any that ever played the game in terms of physical deeds and mental ability, players that stood up when their team mates needed them to save the day.

Yes, this Australian side has great players. They are either 35 or 36, they are both bowlers and they are both about to retire.

Warne and McGrath are greats. The rest are either very good players or quite good players playing in a weak era.

Greatness is Allan Border saving a test against a top class Windies bowling attack in the Windies in 1984 with 98 not out and 100 not out.

Greatness is Steve Waugh scoring 200 against the Windies in the Windies to take the series and the mantle of number 1 test team in1995.

Greatness is Dean Jones scoring 210 in the tied 1986 test in Madras, toughing out on field temperatures of over 50C (really), with cramps, whilst vomiting and having toilet stops in his trousers and then being shipped to hospital half dead after having lost 8 kilos in a day

Greatness is NOT 380 against Zimbabwe

Greatness is NOT taking 3/30 in a meaningless one day match somewhere that no one can remember.

Greatness is NOT scoring a century on home soil against New Zealand

Greatness is rising up and dragging your team to victory in the final test of a hard fought series where you have been outplayed, when the wheels are off, the captain is foaming at the mouth and with all seemingly lost. Greatness is doing that because you can and because you have people counting on you; because you have to. Greatness is doing it now, not having done it then. Greatness is earned and re-earned, not remembered and hoped for.

This final test will make reputations that will never fade. Legends will be born or shattered.

Cometh the hour, cometh the man. The hour is upon us, the end is nigh. This series is worthy of the grandest finale imaginable; it is truly, truly great.

Let's see who in this Australian team is truly great also.

Let the rain hold off !

2005-08-28T16:01:00.000-07:00

The wheels are finally off

Ricky Ponting planning the expletive ladden word waterfall that he will unleash when introducing the team to the queen.

There is losing and then there is losing without dignity. Ponting swearing at umpire and crowd (well assited by Katich yelling at, well, everyone) was a low point, not only of this series but of Australian cricket. These were symptoms of a team in crisis. Australia have been completely outplayed, out thought and out coached in this series. Changes must be made otherwise England will hoist (if you can described the raising of a tiny replica urn with 2 fingers as hoisting) the urn at the end of the 5th test (a prospect that I am sure is quite palatable to many readers).

'One beer' Giles let's his celebrations get a little out of hand after guiding his team to victory

This was Flintoff's test. It is now Flintoff's series. In desparation we are trying to have him jailed for ball tampering.

Well done to England. Another great display (except G Jones who shall receive another Ponting like spray in my match report for his keeping). Well done also to Dave for making it to Trent Bridge even though on holidays.

Dave Thompson captured in disguise at the 4th Test

A few final pictures before I hide under the bed, think of 1989 and Terry Alderman and let most of you celebrate.

Kevin Pieterson reminding Australian selectors that he is spoken for. Pity, his beer holding technique is good

Langer contemplates life on the road without Hayden and his cook book

Speaking of the out of sorts Matty, a wonderfully ironic title introduces Hayden here

Matty's book outlines his plan for life after cricket as a short order cook with a smile.

2005-08-25T17:35:00.000-07:00

What happened ?!

For the first time this series, I saw not a ball bowled last night. I was out at a work dinner and missed everything. It looks to me from the score that it was a case of honours even. What does everyone think ? Come on, put a comment on this post and let me know (even if you have never done so before !). Also, add a comment and let me know what you thought of Tait.

Here is an overview that helped me understand the day. More no balls and dropped catches I see. Geoffry Boycott is starting to make a little more sense in his old age (Note how we cunningly made up a new title for the article though) . Even the normally up beat Jim Maxwell (australian radio commentator on the tour and broadcasting with the BBC) seems a little downcast.

Australia's bowling worries me a little. Warne has a bad back, McGrath a bad ankle and elbow and Gillespie was too bad to continue. In a wonderful piece of wordsmithery, Jason blames his form on a temporary loss of his Mojo (yes serioulsy, the same Mojo that Austin Powers lost). I can't help feeling like I am watching a b grade soap opera play out here.

I said the white flag was up when Katich bowled. It is being waved around wildly when Ponting bowls.

More cricket tomorrow.

2005-08-24T20:03:00.000-07:00

More build up !

The closer it gets, the more excited we become. Please let the rain hold off.

Let's see if these get you in the mood

Warnie gurantees we will play well ! Honest

Just for Dave, here is the latest spot of brilliance by my favourite cricket writer of all time, Peter Roebuck.

Some good analysis of England's bowling from the last test

At last our captain did something good. My new hero (moved on from Pieterson now) gets a good mention as well. Peter Roebuck may have written this also.

A great little piece of why both teams would be better just playing and not telling everyone how great they were going to be.

Finally, see if you can pick the part of this interview where former Australian opening batsman and then super coach seems to have lost touch with reality (the rest is sensible).

Good luck to all in the 4th test and may the rain hold off !

A dream and a nightmare

2005-08-24T15:55:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a dream that I was playing football against the England cricket team. Flintoff had a free kick outside the box. He took the kick and curved it so much that it did a 180 degree turn and ended up being an own goal. He started to cry and I went over and comforted him (hugged him from memory). I told him that he shouldn't take too much notice of one mistake. He cried for a long, long time but eventually calmed down.

This leads me to just one question. Why am I dreaming of Andrew Flintoff
now ? This series has really got to me.

Anyway, I woke up and found that a real nightmare had occurred whilst I had been sleeping. Old Man Mcgrath has now hurt his elbow. His ankle also has not healed completed. What is happening to this team ? So Kasper might start anyway. Meanwhile, England are going to field the team whilst we struggle for players. Vaughan described himself as "pretty pleased".

For those you have not heard much about Australia's newest test player,
have a quick read of this.

Stewart

The 3rd test report and my intro

2005-08-24T06:28:00.000-07:00

Yes, I have been put in charge of the Blog whilst Dave is on holidays.
Rather than be given the keys to the castle, I have instead been given the
key to the back door that gets you into the kitchen and dining room but
doesn't let you upstairs to rifle through the bedrooms and study. In other
words, I can post articles but am not sure how to add fancy links and
pictures. Apologies if my tenure isn't as impressive as normal. I may also
be slightly more Australia focused as well.

Well, where to start ? Firstly, I am sure all and sundry will breathe a
collective sigh of relief to hear that I am finally no longer ill. Yes, my
flu, lung infection, rib tear, etc, etc has healed (the downside is no more
Codeine). My broken heart, first bruised by Harmison, then torn by
Pieterson, crushed by Flintoff and then finally stomped on and destroyed by
S Jones, has not. I am in a state of despair unlike anything since 1985 or
so when Wayne Phillips pulled on the keeping gloves for Australia and
effectively shat all over the entire profession (sorry, Australian focus,
back to neutrality).

I am not trying to play up to my primarily English audience when I saw that
this is the best chance for England to win since 1987. Let's not let truly
heroic efforts by Ponting on the last day cloud our vision of the test.
Again, Australia has been outplayed in most aspects of the Test and the
momentum is firmly with them. Drawing the match gave Australia some time to
recover and a chance to come back though. Let's see what they do with it.

1. Specific Issues

1.1. Coping with the other's attack

Remember in my very first entry I said that this series would be decided on
how each batting attack coped with the other team's bowling ? How true that
is becoming. Again, Australia's batting is struggling. I am getting a
little sick of hearing about how Australia can't play reverse swing. Forget
whether it is reverse swing or not. We are struggling to play swing when it
swings late and could swing either way. In other words, we are struggling
to play good fast bowling. Continually referring to 'reverse' swing making
it sounds like some amazing, newly found secret art. It really isn't, it is
good bowling but the type of bowling many teams had 30 years ago. True,
England are bowling it really, really well but I am disgusted at some of
the attempts of our batsmen.

Hayden is a wonderful example. Flintoff bowled him with a straight one that
pitched outside leg, didn't swing or move off the wicket and hit leg stump.
If you watch a replay of the dismissal, you will see that Hayden played
down the wrong line. He missed the ball by a good 15cm at least. He clearly
was not watching the ball. I know Flintoff bowled a great over of outswing
to him before the straight one but a batsman playing well would have
watched the ball and played it accordingly.

Poor old Katich was another example. He shouldered arms to a ball that
swung in a little. Again, he was foxed by an over that swung away from him
before that one that didn't which he let go. Like Hayden, he was not
watching the ball.

Now I am not saying that playing a late swinging ball at 92 mph is easy. I
am just saying we have not had to face a good attack for a while and have
stopped doing the basics such as concentrating, watching the ball and
building an innings

1.2. Coaching.

Did anyone see the interview conducted in the rain with the Australian
coach John Bucananananananan ? (and Atherton I think it was) This worried
me more than anything. I almost fell off my chair when he explained how
exciting he felt it was being the first Australian team in 16 years in
danger of losing the Ashes. Excited ? Invigorated ? What ? You have to be
kidding surely.

No, John is not kidding. I think this is a great example of why Australia
is where it is in the series. He certainly didn't prepare us so that we
wouldn't be in trouble (building a large box, calling it Merlin 2, and
making it bowl like Flintoff and Harmison would have been a great start)
and he seems to have no plan now that we are. Great that you are excited
though John. And why are we catching so badly ? surely John has to take
some of the heat on this also.

1.3. Replacements

Clearly Gillespie had to go. But who should replace him ? There was a time
not so long ago, when we used to laugh at England when they had to choose
between an un-tried young player and a tried and tested average old player.
England ALWAYS chose the old guy and got average results and then chose the
young guy when he was old. "We would never do that" we said. Well, we have
done it for a few years now and we almost did it before the 4th test, just
after a 24 year old English man with 2 tests under his belt gave himself a
very young looking blue streak through his hair and made us look very aged
indeed.

So, the old Kasper or the young, untried Tait ? At first, I said Kasper as
I was scared of losing. But if we don't take a chance now, we may not lose
this test but we are only putting off the inevitable and making it worse
when it comes. The sooner we get young blood in, the sooner they get good
and the sooner we are re-built and playing well again. So, if we are going
to go down, let's go down aggressively swinging. Tait for me.

And thus it was. Tait is in. So, what is he like you ask ? I have never
seen him but I have read about him. He is quick, swings it both ways and
late. Sounds excellent doesn't he ? Well, he also bowls a few terrible
balls an over and had to leave Durham early last season due to a no ball
problem. Let's watch and see !

2. Team Reviews

Player by player

Australia

Langer

Still looking OK but needs to go on with a few innings now.

Hayden

Gee wizz Matty is batting terribly. He seems finished. I referred to him
previously but let me briefly re-cap. He has belted everyone for a few
years and is now up against a good bowling attack and can no longer do it.

Let's drop him. Forget his century against the county side they played a
few days ago. The England test bowlers weren't in it !

Ponting

Fantastic second innings. He did owe us though. His captaincy fell apart in
England's second innings and the Ashes looks like they had slipped away.
Also, had not played a major innings this series.

Continues to struggle early more in this series than I have ever seen. Is
getting either too squared up or failing too far across his pads. England
has to watch that they don't just keep trying to get him leg before with
the full one though. They are being a little too obvious with that.

Raised the white flag when he bowled Katich.

Martyn

Lazy. Just lazy. batting that is.

Not so lazy about lovin' though. Page 20 of this month's New Idea magazine
screams "Exclusive : Cricket's new LOVE RAT". Force to cancel her wedding
after cricketer Damien Martyn's cheating, Helen has sympathy for Simone
Warne". We all do love, we all do. Reputable journalism clearly. I love the
part where she puts the boot into him by reading out some of his old texts
to her. "Darling Heart, I love you so much. You are my life and I'm so
proud to be with you and one day be your husband". Not that proud clearly.
She goes onto explain where he got this habit. "He really looked up to
David Beckham and saw himself as Australia's equivalent". There are so many
things to pick on there, I will just let it go.

The dressing room must be hell for him. No wonder he seems distracted.

Clarke

When a 24 year old ruins his back for 3 days after throwing a ball 5 metres
gently, there is trouble. He needs to keep doing his back exercises or he
won't be able to play for more than another 2 years. Has obviously
slackened off since he got on tour and his back has acted up 3 times so
far. Being a professional sportsman, on the road for 10 months of the year
is not the same as going out and batting every Saturday. He needs to be
disciplined on and off the field if he wants to be successful.

Katich

After being our best batsman at Lords, is failing to live up to the hope.
Is a real shuffler at the crease and consequently is struggling against the
swing. Could well be showing the type of results that he would have if he
played in the 80s against bowling attacks that were good.

Just remember I said that if he bowls lots, then the Ashes were lost.
Desperate move Ricky, desperate move.

Gilchrist

After I have given G Jones hell for 2 tests (and rightly so), I have to
acknowledge the opposite. Gilchrist had a complete shocker with the gloves.
Dropped catches and missed stumpings and we seemed to have slipped back to
the Gilchrist of a couple of years ago (he and a small, 19 year old Indian
keeper put on a spectacular "Race to the bottom" show the last time
Australia was in India a couple of years ago that had Australian keepers,
present and retired, lining up to write articles in newspapers and appear
on little known TV shows).

And what of his legendary, match winning batting. This series, and for a
while to be truthful, Gilly has become what I call a slogger (my Dad calls
it a Bash Artist, you can take your pick). He seems to have forgotten the
golden rule of test batting that he always used to preach : just spend the
first 20 balls not getting out. In this series, usually after 20 balls if
he isn't already out, he is on 23, has been dropped 3 times and gets out
soon after. Needs to do better

Warne

A Marvel. His 90 in the first innings showed great courage and thought, 2
things that I think he has failed to show in his batting for far too long.
contributed a valuable 30 odd in the second innings also. He made me look a
fortune teller after Warne was on 90 and I texted Dave telling him he would
do something silly and blow his hundred. The next ball he holed out weakly.
Can I see the future ? No, I have just seen him bat a bit !

Continues to bowl wonderfully. Is truly carrying this Australian team and
trying to single handedly win the series.

Finally, watch how he carries on in the field. He does all of the personal
interaction that you would expect the captain to do. He is a leader and it
comes naturally. I think he should be captain instead of Ponting. Would
need to stop sh*gging everything that moves before that was considered
though (although, maybe not. Maybe we should have a people's captain !).

Lee

Continues to dig in with his batting. Bowling well about 60% of the time.
Much better than his last Ashes series but needs to push up the consistency
to really help his team.

Gillespie

Oh dear, what is the matter with Jason ? He has gone from Australia's most
dangerous bowler with 260 test wickets to out of the test team in a pretty
short period. Will struggle to get back in the team now as we MUST re-build
after this series. Ponting uses him for 3 overs in the second innings and
he may has well trudged off the field, jumped in a cab and asked to go
straight to the airport as that is a pretty clear message.

McGrath

Ooooh Arhhhh, Glen McGrath. Ooh Arh indeed after bowling 78mph most of this
test. Still incredibly accurate but he isn’t going to worry to many people
bowling that slowly. Still holding our quicks together though.

Scarily, has now injured his elbow. Not playing football in training again
surely ?

England

Trescothick

Could I be warming to Marcus or are we just bowling badly to him ? maybe
both. Not getting as many edges early this series and proving to be more of
an obstacle than I thought he would be. credit to him.

Strauss

Did play a good innings in the second dig. Seems to be coming into some
form. I don't care, I am STILL not convinced about Straussy. Is always too
square (watch his back foot point to cover on every shot). This makes him
susceptible to movement off the pitch and makes it hard for him to play on
the off side. He is square on because he clearly loves the pull shot (I
watched him play lots of them against South Africa). Needs to get side on
if we wants to continue his test career in the same way he started it.
Still, looking much better than at the start of the series.

Vaughan

Ominous, very ominous. 166 was a tremendous innings but I did end up in the
fetal position on the floor with memories of all the hundreds he scored
against us 2 years ago. Played all his shots and looks his best when
playing back foot cover drives (and he played many in this innings).

Yes, I know he needs to score a 200 and he must have cried when he watched
his dismissal on TV.

I, for one, thought he declared at the perfect time in the second innings.
Well done.

Bell

Improving. This series is making him, not breaking him. A tremendous catch
to remove Langer and that shows a man with confidence and concentration
working well. Batting a little more freely now as he looked like the
proverbial deer in headlights in the first 2 tests.

Pietersen

Kevin, my boy, this game is about thinking, not just about bashing.

I really believe this guy can do anything but he needs to keep his ego in
check and think about his game a little. The way he got out in the first
innings was terrible. He was starting to kill us again and then played a
silly shot and was finished. Needs to remember how he got runs at Lords: by
building an innings and playing sensible shots until he needed to bash and
then he took us apart. He won't do himself or his team justice unless he
does the same again.

But but but ..... What is with his catching ? Still has not taken a catch
in his test career and really should have taken that one on the last day.

Flintoff

This guy, wow. The pick of the bowlers in the entire series, across both
teams. Simply never bowls a bad spell, ever. Has the measure of most
batsmen and is himself batting well now after a terrible start at Lords. I
can't say anything that hasn't been said. When the series is over will
either be the person that won the Ashes or the person that almost did. The
most important guy on either side.

G Jones

Terrible, I hate him, drop him.

Some awful technical mistakes. The missed stumping off Giles was a classic.
Was too far behind the stumps, wrong footed and over balanced past the
stumps after he dropped the ball. Basically just seemed to presume the
batsman would hit it and stop watching the ball and getting into position.
A classic, but unforgivable at this level, mistake.

Still, Gilchrist might have had him beat for awfulness in this test.

Giles

Much more a part of the team than I ever thought he would be. Sure, he is
no Tuffers (please read the Tuffers, autobiography by the way. The most
honest autobiography ever written and the 4 in a bed with him a 3 ladies
from Perth, Australia is one of many candid highlights).

Wasn't impressed on the last day though. Should have played more of a part.

Hoggard

Still the weakest of the England quicks. Really needs a haircut as he looks
like a West Country farmer. Look what happens to quicks with bad hair but
Matthew (see Jason Gillespie).

Harmison

Still a little quiet but not bowling badly. England need him to re-discover
the form of the first morning at Lords. What did Vaughan do to him that
morning ? Do it again Mikey

S Jones

Really starting to bowl well in this test. I think Australia knew they had
to be worried about Harmison and knew Flintoff would be tough. I am not
sure we counted on 3 guys that bowled quickly and good though. Having Jones
bowling well has been a big factor in mentally intimidating Australia.
There is no let up in the attack now.

3. Final

The beard had to go. I pretended to myself that a draw was as good as a win
as I had to go to work the next day and needed to look like I hadn't been
asleep on the sofa for a week.

Last point. My 91 year old Grandmother told me on Monday night that she
thought the England attack looked good and it would be good for cricket if
England won the series. True, she votes conservative, looks a little like
the Queen, argues with me when I mention a Republic and is was 1 of only 2
of 18 brothers and sisters that weren't born in England but she does make
an interesting point. I have been amazed how many people have said
basically the same thing to me in the last few weeks (about it being good
if England won, rather than the monarchist stuff). Usually, reserve those
sentiments for public displays of false humility when we are winning a
series 2-0 but this time I think people really mean it. Lots and lots of
people are sick of seeing Australia kick weak teams around the park and
carrying on like they have beaten Clive Lloyd's boys. OK, so we aren't so
sure we want it to be England that beats us but everyone is acknowledging
that we are playing a good team.

What a series. Bring on the next test !

Next week

2005-08-19T04:56:00.000-07:00

I'm on holiday next week and won't have Internet access.

In my absence Australia's very own Stewart Robertson is in charge of the Blog.

Dave.

2005-08-15T15:53:00.000-07:00

England fall at the last fence

A day of high drama at Old Trafford saw Australia cling to a draw in what has been a match dominated by England.

England needed one wicket with three overs to go and were defied by the bleach boys. Brett Lee held out against a loose Harmison last over. Earlier Rickey Ponting had almost single handedly saved the match for Australia before his late dismissal.

The rain on Saturday cost England the time they would have used to bowl Australia out. Kevin Pietersen shelled yet another vital catch and Vaughan had to watch Simon Jones limp off at a critical period in the final hour. Again, for fans of both teams it was an enthralling days play.

Picture: Brett admires Glen's new highlights.

Testing Day ahead for the Aussies

2005-08-14T15:20:00.000-07:00

Its a big day tomorrow as Australia look to save the Old Trafford Test Match.

I was tempted to go, but as usual work calls.

I think Vaughan could be the surprise package tomorrow if he actually bowls himself.

Wasn’t great seeing Glenn McGrath getting smacked for six by Jones and Bell.

And at last the real Andrew Strauss has stood up. The whole top order have got runs now and look

in form.

Stewart's Big Match Report

2005-08-10T10:41:00.000-07:00

It was worth the wait folks, here it is. Apologies for the formatting, can't seem to do anything about it.

My View - Stewart Robertson

Thanks to a possible bout of whooping cough (yes, I am as amazed as you) I
watched the entire 2nd test; not through a fever this time but through an
antibiotic and codeine filled pain killer induced haze. So, I have again
watched almost every ball multiple times with multiple commentators.

The most exciting test in recent times ? A great Australian fight back
showing how tough we really are ? The "Flintoff Test" ? The one that almost
got away ? The answer is probably Yes and No to almost any title you could
attempt to give this game. However, let me first try to peel away some of
the headline speak, then discuss why Australia is in the predicament that
it is and then lastly, let's go through each player's contribution.

One last thing : I have decided to grow a beard in protest until we win
again.

The reality

No matter what you say about this test let's be honest and calm for a
second : England played all over Australia and should never have looked
like losing. The only reason Australia got close was poor bowling on the
4th morning (where was the line and length, the changes of pace ?) and some
pretty gutsy batting from 3 bowlers. Warne, Lee and Kasper are to be
commended as much as the batsmen are to be chastised.

England has won more sessions in the two tests than Australia and Australia
is looking wobbly. We are not out of the series yet (especially as England
need to win the series and we need to only draw it) but we are in the worst
trouble since we lost in 86/87 (Dave, I still can’t forgive Chris Broad).
If we look at the big picture, one thing is certain : Australian cricket is
on the way down and English cricket is on the way up.

A final piece of seriousness through the milky fog of euphoria : Australia
will not give this up without a fight. The Ashes are by far our most
treasured sporting trophy. We went bananas when we won in 1989 (I wagged
school to watch the Ashes squad parade through the streets of Sydney). We
have gently, and slightly more quietly, gone bananas every time we have
held the Ashes since. I am not even sure what to equate this to for an
English audience. Perhaps if your football team has beaten its archrivals
every game for 18 years ? We do see you as the old enemy in cricket. And,
at the risk of getting too personal, we probably see you as the big brother
than never really gave us the attention or respect we wanted and thought we
deserved. Consequently, Australian sport loves nothing better than beating
England at cricket. It brings out the ugly Australian in all of us.

None of this Australian team want to be the ones that finally gives up the
Ashes. If they do, they will forever go down in Australian cricket infamy
and I, along with the rest of the country, am firmly committed to going all
Pakistani on them (in reference to the quaint Pakistani practise of burning
down the homes and abducting the fathers of members of their vanquished
cricket team).

How did we get here ? Didn’t Glen tell us Australia would win 5 - 0 ?

Whilst there are multiple reasons why Australia has ended up here, let me
list a few.

1. The England team

I would be ignoring the obvious if I didn't start with the fact that
England, for the first time in 18 years, have played good, tough cricket.
To save repeating myself, every time I mention something that Australia
have not done well, remember to add "You can only play as well as you are
allowed". E.g. Australia batting badly : partly because England is bowling
well. You get the idea.

2. The curse of the 3rd generation

There is a famous adage in business (family business in particular) : The
first generation builds it, the 2nd generation expands it and the 3rd
generation squanders it. There are probably lots of reasons why this
happens so often. However, for mine, it happens because clawing your way to
the top, step by arduous step, builds character and skill much more than
being born into privilege. This Australian team has been born into
privilege.

Border was the leader of the first generation. He captained a team that was
simply cr*p. He stopped us losing all the time and built a tough attitude
and fostered some good young players. He started the climb by winning the
89 ashes. He handed over to generation 2er, Mark Taylor. Mark made us
really good. He beat the West Indies at home in 95 and, in doing so,
planted the Australian flag right at the summit of world cricket.

Australia has been lucky. Our 3rd generation didn’t squander the work of
Border and Taylor; instead, it made us great. Steve Waugh took good test
players into really good ones, he made really good players truly great and
he won everything, even 16 tests in a row, a record that will never be
broken. We even stopped losing the “dead rubbers”

He was finally forced, kicking and screaming, to hand over to the 4th
generation in Ricky Ponting. Ricky captains a team that contains not a
single player from the losing side of an Ashes series. I think everything
stems from this. We have been spoilt and praised and we have grown soft.

Conversely, England is mirroring the rise and rise of Australia. Atherton
was the English Border (stopped the losing, provided stability). Nass was
the English Taylor (tried to be aggressive and improved the team he was
given) and Vaughan could well be the English Waugh (has turned them nasty
and instilled a winning mentality).

3. Captaincy

Please indulge me, I am going to use some corporate management jargon for a
minute.

There are quite a few good technicians out there. They aren't easy to find
but you can get them if you try. There are less good managers. Organising a
group of people, disciplining them, etc is something that relatively few
people can do.

There is a VAST chasm between management and leadership. Whilst they’re a
few good managers, there are even fewer good leaders. Out of 100 good
technicians, maybe 10 will be good managers and less than 1 will be a good
leader. We have a captain who is a good technician and has picked up some
management along the way. He is not a leader.

Ricky's lack of leadership manifests itself in a number of ways.

N.B. Leaders rarely, if ever, have names such as "Ricky". They tend to have
strong, adult sounding names such as "Allan", "Mark" or "Steve". "Ricky"
sounds like the 13 year old that captained your Saturday morning side.

3.1. Consensus manager

Ricky always talks about how he canvasses his senior players for their
opinion. This worries me. Managing by committee never gets results in work
or sport.

3.2. Reacts like a team member.

Ricky doesn't always react like the mature leader of a side. I think too
often, he reacts like a member of the team. A great example of this was the
crazy decision to bowl first in the second test.

These guys are not uninformed. They would have been told that there is
usually turn here in the 4th innings and that teams rarely score much in
the 4th; a perfect "win the toss and bat" scenario, especially when we have
Warne bowling well. However, Ricky won the toss and bowled. I am convinced
that the reason for this was nothing more than an attempt to "show them we
don't need Glen to win". Well Rick, we sort of do need big Glen to win and
throwing an out of form pace attack without Glen onto a totally dead pitch
was not the way to do it. This was in immature decision that we a big
factor in the loss. Mark Taylor, for example, would have risen above the
emotion and made the right decision for the team and the match.

3.3. Not a motivator

One of the most important aspects of leadership is the ability to motivate
and get the best out of a team. Ricky is clearly not doing this. Hayden is
a great example. His decline started at just about the time that Steve
Waugh retired. Steve talked him into believing that he could be the best
batsman in the world and he responded. Ricky has clearly said nothing and
he has become the Test player that he was probably always destined to be.
In fact, all of our batsmen are walking out and playing like no one is
saying anything to them.

4. You want it, we expect it

We are playing like we just expect to turn up, roll the arm over, play a
few windy whooshes and watch you fall apart. To England's credit, they are
not doing this. They are trying their hardest and seeing some results. We
have grown soft, lazy and arrogant and it shows in everything from our
crazy batting (Warne's shot in the first innings, Martyn being run out, or
should I say jogged out, etc) to our less than impressive catching to our
sometimes amazing bowling (Won't the real Jason Gillespie please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up). This may work with sub standard teams
(as most of the world are currently fielding) but not with good teams.

We are terribly out of practise being under pressure. Whilst England batted
well in their first innings, our bowling was generally woeful. We fell
apart when attacked. England bowled well in our second innings but we
should have easily got 282 on a 3rd day pitch. Again, England applied
pressure, we all batted like the other guy would get the runs and we ran
out of other guys.

5. Luck

To win a tight series, you have to have some luck. In past series, we have
had it, this time we don't.

How many recent Ashes series can you think of where Australia was fully fit
and England weren't ? The last series, Flintoff was out as was S Jones
after the first day. The series before, Thorpe was out for most of it and I
think Gough's knee was either gone or going. This series, McGrath rolled
his ankle (why was he not locked up ??!?!), Lee has an infected knee (these
are delicate people remember) and Gillespie, well, something is just wrong
with Gillespie.

You also need some decisions to go your way. Again, I think it would be
fair to say that we have had the best of this in recent years. This time, I
think most observers would say that more of the close ones are probably
going to England this time. I am not saying there is any funny business,
this sometimes just happens.

6. Coping with the bowling

As I said previously, this series will come down to how well each team
combats the other's bowling attack. This test England coped with
Australia's attack much better than we coped with theirs. They flayed us on
the first day, we were meagre in our first innings. England succumbed in
their second, but we succumbed even more in ours (side from our bottom
three).

Player by player

Australia

Langer

Was my pick to score the most runs for Australia and I see nothing to make
me change my mind. Is having another excellent series with the bat. My only
concern is that for someone who plays the hook and pull as well as he does,
I can't see why he feels the need to turn his back on so many short ones
and let them hit him. Tough little guy, my Dad's favourite player so I am
genetically predisposed to like him as well.

Hayden

Oh boy. Matty, Matty, where for art thou Matty ? Still out of form, still
disappointing. Played a terrible shot in the first innings to record his
first ever Test golden duck and looked like a man struggling to cement a
spot in the team in the 2nd innings.

Seems to be struggling to know how to bat against an attack to which some
respect must be shown. Spent a year or two smashing everyone he faced
everywhere whilst batting 3 feet out of his crease. Form and the English
bowling attack have meant that this is no longer possible and seems to have
a very weak Plan B.

Time for a change Australia. I would drop Hayden and select Mike Hussey, an
excellent player who is in form and has lots of English experience.

Ponting

I have covered his captaincy already but his batting continues to not be
quite with it. Looked good in the first innings only to play a very weak
shot and get out (a good example of us expecting it to happen). I know
Flintoff bowled well to him in the 2nd innings but he played a terrible
shot to get out : both feet were next to each other, pointing down the
wicket to a ball he should have come forward it. Needs to regain form.

Bad captaincy sending England in on a featherbed, bad captaincy letting his
quicks bowl pies all day on the first day and bad captaincy letting McGrath
play football before the game !

Martyn

I should call him Mr "We expect it" he is proving my theory so well. Batted
well in the first innings only to forget that the English team could now
pick up and ball and throw it. Again batted well in the 2nd innings until
he got himself out very softly, hitting a simple catch to midwicket off
Hoggard. Too casual and distracted by his trouser region (was the focus of
an Australian women's tabloid magazine article entitled "Australian
Cricket's new love Rat". Yep, Marto is on the root as well !).

Clarke

Tough for Clarke as he got out to good balls in both innings. Showed some
inexperience in the 2nd innings when he let himself become too caught up in
an argument with Flintoff about Flintoff's killer ankle beamers (hit them
for 4 Michael, forget about getting angry about it !). Surprise, Surprise,
was not concentrating enough after the argument and let a good slow one get
through him in the last over.

Batting much better now than he was before the tests began and looks like a
solid Test player. If I were his Mum, I would be telling him to stop
hanging around with naughty boys like Warne and Martyn though.

Katich

Like Clarke, got good ones in both innings. Will score well in this series.
Warning : If you see him bowl a long spell of his left arm leggies, we are
really desperate and we may be about to lose the Ashes.

Gilchrist

Played a very sensible knock in the first innings only to contrast this
with a very silly shot in the 2nd. Trying to hoik Giles out of the rough on
the 4th ball you have faced when your team is looking down the barrel is
not smart, no matter whether he was "playing his natural game" or not.
Needs to remember how he used to pace his innings.

On the bright side, keeping as well as I have ever seen him. Has taken some
really good catches off Warne.

Warne

Continues to bowl wonderfully. His control is exceptional as is his guile.
Hard to say much else about his bowling, it has mostly been said. His ball
to Strauss was a wonder. Still seems to have no answer to Pieterson (aside
from a dodgy caught behind).

His batting still confounds me. How can the man that played that wonderful,
gutsy knock in the second innings, play the sub club cricket shot in the
first innings when Gilchrist was sitting on his bat at the other end ?
Needs to apply the same level of thinking to his batting that he does his
bowling. We need some application from our tail and aside from their effort
to almost steal the game in the second innings, we have not seen any so far
this series.

Is it any wonder his private life is a mess when he cannot step on his
stumps like a normal tailender but clip the other stump with his right leg
by curling it around behind his left leg ? He should be a dancer !

Lee

Dismal bowling in the first innings. Again, too short or too full. Needs to
bowl line and length when the pitch isn't letting him scare the batsmen
into silly shots with his pace. Looked much better in England's second
innings.

Great effort with the bat in the 2nd innings. He can bat well when he
applies himself.

How can a finely tuned athlete with the best medical assistance anywhere
get an infected knee from a scrap he sustained whilst fielding ? What is
going on in that dressing room ?!

Gillespie

Gillespie reminds us all that Karma does exist. First came the very dodgy
mullet and then went the form. I picked him to be near top form by the 3rd
test in my last report and I hope he doesn't let me down, as we really need
him.

Kasprowicz

Kasper, purely for not ducking Harmison's fateful short one in the second
innings, I would drop you. More rational people would probably cite your
bowling. Was the least used bowler in England's first innings and only
bowled 3 overs in their 2nd. Is Ricky trying to tell you something ?
Probably. Start bowling well Kasper or make way.

Tait (possible Lee replacement)

Quick with a strange action that is hard to pick up. However, did not
impress with Durham at all last season. Not enough control yet and would be
an interesting and risky replacement.

Clark (possible Lee replacement)

I heard him described as a McGrath clone on the news tonight and I think
that is a good description. The more I think about it, the more I would
like him to play. We really need someone who can bowl some line and length
and he is in good form.

England

Trescothick

Remember, I said that Marcus would not consistently get runs against
Australia. I never said he would not ever get any runs. Phew ! Like the
flat track bully that I think he is, thumped a solid 90 without once even
moving so much as a little toe in the first innings. Out to a terrible
shot, similar to the terrible shot he got out to in the 2nd innings. Looked
much better attacking Warne though.

Batsmen with techniques sans feet movement never consistently get runs
against attacks that can consistently put the bat on a length on, or
slightly outside, off stump. With McGrath out for at least another test,
Gillespie out of form and Lee still bowling too full or too short at times,
Marcus finds himself with his best attack to get big runs against
Australia.

Strauss

Something still worries me about Strauss and I still can't put my finger on
it. Looked far batter in the first innings playing some good attacking
shots and was out to a rare piece of Warne brilliance. However, showed Bell
that you don't need to go down the wicket every ball, just the ones you can
get to the pitch of and when you are there, you whack it. Interestingly,
Warne is calling him his new bunny. History says that for whatever reason,
every time Warne says this sort of thing, he usually follows it through.
Watch for Warne bowling early in every innings if Strauss is still around.

Vaughan

Looked a faint glimmer of his old self in the first innings before a top
edge ended it. However, again missed a straight one by bringing the bat
down from gully in the second innings (and again walking off looking at the
pitch and making that funny face ! You have to stop that Michael). Still
nowhere near any form and has some serious technical issues to overcome.

Captaincy was better this test. Those men in funny catching positions are
having some effect, especially to Hayden. Obviously has the team believing
that they can win. If England keeps winning they will, and should, carry
Vaughan through the series even if he doesn't make another run.

Bell

Still looked startled in the first innings. However, started playing with a
little more confidence in the second innings before Warne got him with a
good ball (regardless of what the snickomomomometer and Richie says he did
hit it. You could see the edge from behind the keeper angle and even from
in front).

I don't think he should be dropped. Good teams turn into great teams by
making sure that good young players get experience when the team can carry
them a little. England should persist with Bell as I think he has the sort
of temperament that will mean that this series is the making of him rather
than the breaking.

Pietersen

He has got me, and the Australian team, well and truly spooked. Looks like
a giant playing with little people sometimes. The way he continues to swat
Warne for 6 at will is amazing. Generally plays Warne as well as almost
anyone I have ever seen except Tendulkar, who could drive Warne out of the
rough past Gilchrist for 4 (I would need to draw a diagram but trust me it
was incredible) and Laxman when he got 281 (who kept dancing down 5 paces
and smashing him through cover out of the rough). None of the quicks know
what to do with him. If these 4 innings are anything to go by, could well
become a true legend of the game.

However ........ was out the first ball he faced in the second innings.....
which compensates for not being out caught behind off Warne when he was 20.

I usually have a theory on everything. However, I can't offer anything on
how we should bowl to him. Let's try top of off stump length, 30 cms
outside off. Deny him his leg side shots and try to make him do something
silly.

Flintoff

This will, of course, be known as the Flintoff test. 10 6s in a test was
incredible and his second innings knock with one shoulder (I reckon he was
faking it to make the day seem more memorable) was, in the end, the
difference between the 2 sides. Did anyone notice that as well as this, he
kept bowling well over 90 mph and taking wickets with good balls. My Dad
loves Flintoff so I will grudgingly respect him as well.

I stand by my original summary that I don't think he is a test number 6.
Consistent good bowling will see him keep his average at 31...but he was
peerless in this test.

G Jones

Still keeping badly (26 byes in the test is inexcusable) and still not
batting well enough to keep his place. Yes, I know he caught that last
catch but it was an easy one really despite what Richie said (Richie had a
bad match with the mike)

Get rid of him and make an old keeper happy.

Giles

Bowled better this test. I can’t bring myself to say he bowled well though.
Most of his wickets were batsmen getting themselves out but he at least
looked test standard this game and turned a few. Has to learn not to put
pressure on himself by writing that he is really much better than given
credit for and that he is really upset a few days before the test.

Hoggard

Still the weakest performer of the England quicks. The only wicket in the
first innings was Hayden committing suicide and he went for over 5 an over.
The only wicket he got in the 2nd innings was a gift from Martyn and again
was at over 5 an over. Leave him there, being different from the others
will, at worst, get the other bowlers some wickets and, at best, will get
him some.

Harmison

Another good match from Harmison. Don't worry that he didn't hit everyone
in the head this match and didn't take 9 wickets. The key to good test
performance is consistency even in adverse conditions. The wicket didn't
suit his style of bowling, especially early on but he still went for only a
little over 4 in the first innings and picked up 2 valuable wickets in the
second at a reasonably economical rate.

Australia don’t like facing him and England is a much better team with him
in it.

S Jones

Bowled better in the first innings than the second. Managed to extract some
reverse swing with the old ball, which Australia found difficult to play.

I never really know what to say about Jones. I think this means that he is
bowling well and not doing anything silly enough to warrant a mention. Oh,
I've got one : thankfully dropped Kasper when Australia needed 15 to win or
so to ensure that it turned into a real nail bighter. Thanks Simon !

Stress

2005-08-07T23:17:00.000-07:00

I think I need to give it 24 hours so I can calm down after what happened today.

That has to be the most tense period of play I’ve ever watched.

That has to be the best test match I’ve ever seen.

On a lighter note, this made me smile. Justin Langer has finally made his piece with the Barmy Army.

Here's some coverage:

Five reasons for defeat

Three lousy runs, one great game

Australia facing their defining moment

Stunned reaction from Down Under

Australians Flinstoned

Test ratings

Aussie gets sledged

2005-08-04T23:43:00.000-07:00

I normally tour each year with the Wiltshire Relics. I couldn’t make this year but I had this tale emailed to me today from Relics Supremo Freddie Coupe, it made me smile.

Shaun ( Relic’s Aussie ) caught out there best bat…….and as the guy walks off, he is swearing away and says “ caught out, caught out….and by a F**king Aussie”…..he was still going on about it an hour later , when I was fielding on the boundary….moaning to the rest of the team and assorted barflys sat on veranda…….he repeated his earlier comment and added, “ I should have known there was an Aussie on the pitch ‘cos someone had been through the bins at Tea Time !”.

Top chelping !

What a day!

2005-08-04T23:23:00.000-07:00

Where to start?

So many things to discuss, so here goes for a summary:

Who did the Health and Safety assesment for Australia’s training this morning?
Should Ponting have stuck England in? The Warwickshire coach John Inverarity has been telling the media hacks that this was a bat first track.
It was good to see Trescothick get runs but it was a very poor shot to get out to.
Vaughan looked in great nick until he got out, awful shot.
What the hell did Freddie have for tea? Six pints? That was a lazy shot.
Pietersen looks more and more awesome everytime I watch him bat. This balls he whipped from outside off stump through mid wicket made me think of Viv Richards and the way he used to bat.
The best six of the day was Simon Jones’s six off Gillespie. Total power, total disdain.
I have to say at the start of the day I would have been happy with 400, but I am a bit dissapointed we are all out. Some of the players really needed to get on and score heavily.
My Dad who is 69 described today as ‘…the most exciting days cricket I have ever seen’.

I can’t wait for tomorrow.

2005-08-04T08:34:00.000-07:00

McGrath Out???

From BBC SPORT:

Glenn McGrath is a doubt for the second Test at Edgbaston after being stretchered off in the pre-match warm-up on Thursday.

The Australia fast bowler was injured playing a rugby-style game and Mike Kasprowicz has been asked to mark out his run-up.

England have yet to name their team for the second Test but are aiming to bounce back from a 239-run defeat.

Michael Vaughan is fit after recovering from an elbow injury.

Vaughan's Out

2005-08-03T00:12:00.000-07:00

Having just watched the footage of Vaughan on Sky Sports news I have to say I’ll be very surprised if he plays on Thursday. He looked in total agony.

My Dad was totally unconcerned by this setback and insisted that we won’t miss him as ‘…he hasn’t scored any runs for a long time’. When I asked him who would bat three, he shrugged and responded ‘…they could just shuffle the order’.

England will have to think quick. Do they call up another specialist batsman? The only real candidate is Robert Key, a player I really can’t take seriously until he sheds a stone and a half.

Even if Key comes in who bats three? Suddenly the England top order looks a bit thin.

On form I’d like to see Collingwood come in. He’s in great nick with the bat and will ellivate the fielding. He’s also one of those players like Pietersen who has the attitude to handle the Australians.

You might have seen the Ashley Giles has thrown his toys out of the pram in the Guardian. The English press have been typically two faced in their coverage of this series. Do you remember the paper talk about how Pietersen didn’t have the technique for test cricket after his one day performances? Well now the same papers are praising him as the only player in the England team to have the technique to play Warne and McGrath.

My big concerns for the forthcoming test were again the top three. Strauss really looks like he has forgot to bat. Trescothick, well Trescothick still doesn't move his feet. Will he ever damage the Aussies? Vaughan might not play, so we could have Robert Key at three or even Ian 'I've watched it again and again on television and it still looks a leg-spinner to me' Bell at three. Blimey, now I'm beginning to write like a tabloid reporter.

Come on England.

Told you so - England unchanged

2005-07-31T16:12:00.000-07:00

England have named an unchanged 12-man squad for Thursday's second Ashes Test at Edgbaston.

Cricinfo - Collingwood posts a timely reminder

2005-07-27T08:12:00.000-07:00

Paul collingwood yesterday crashed 181 not out yesterday in front of the Chairman of selectors for Durham. Five days ago he scored 190. Its Collingwood’s fourth century of the season.

Does this put him in contention for the next test?

Cricinfo - Collingwood posts a timely reminder

2005-07-25T12:46:00.000-07:00

Having stewed on the result since Sunday here is my measured thoughts on the first test defeat.

I think the whole game changed on Friday when Damian Martyn took a stunning catch to dismiss Pietersen. Five more overs from KP could have pushed England closer to the Australian first innings total.

The second turning point was Pietersen’s hapless attempt off Michael Clarke before tea. This drop really cost us. This error was then compounded by England’s performance on Saturday morning when Geriant Jones shelled three catches. His keeping has now slipped back to the standards it was eighteen months ago and it looked like he was wearing saucepans not gauntlets.

We simply can’t drop as many catches as we did and expect to beat Australia.

Now that the first test is out of the way the hype will no doubt be replaced by mass hysteria in the media. There were some strong positives to come out of this game for England. Harmison, Flintoff and Jones look like a world class pace attack. Kevin Piertersen looks like he was born to play on the big stage. The way he went after McGrath and Warne showed at times they can be made to look human.

What have we learned about Australia? McGrath and Warne took 15 of the 20 wickets that fell. Should we be surprised by this? They’ve been doing this for the last decade against England.

What do we have to worry about?

The big concerns have to be the top order. Strauss looks like a shadow of the player who burst onto the international scene last summer. Vaughan looks like he has lost all his form completely. Ian Bell looked out of his depth. This is a tricky one. Discard Bell and shatter his confidence or persist with him and let the Australians shatter his confidence. Is Rob Key a better option? I’m not convinced. Until he sheds a stone and a half I can’t take him seriously as an England cricketer. If we did have to get rid of Bell I would bring in Collingwood. Not as classy a player as Pietersen but cut from the same mould when comes to attitude his presence and fielding could lift the team.

We’ll have to persist with Jones behind the stumps but another test like that and he’ll have to make way for Read.

Looking back to the first test in the 2002/2003, we were really on the receiving end then, this time it was closer:

http://uk.cricinfo.com/link_to_database/ARCHIVE/2002-03/ENG_IN_AUS/SCORECARDS/ENG_AUS_T1_07-11NOV2002.html

A round up of the papers:

http://content.cricinfo.com/engvaus/content/story/214279.html

The View from Down Under

2005-07-24T22:30:00.000-07:00

Courtesy of Stewart Robertson.

The Series
After day 1 I thought that this was 2 heavyweights standing toe to toe and
swinging haymakers at each other. I could see a series like Australia V
West Windies in 1995 (not many scores over 250 from either team, constant
attack from both sides for 4 tests). However, after my initial excitement
at the series finally starting gave way to series cricket watching, I have
slightly changes my mind.
I think both team have good bowling attacks (England has a good pace attack
now and a nicely balances set of bowlers) and it will come down to how the
batting handles them. England's top 6 (excluding Pieterson) need to do
better or we could have another easy Australian series win.

Pitch
Terrible. What were they thinking ?

Umpiring
Excellent, apart from a few very much out LBWs in England's second innings
(note how I can't remember Australia receiving a few let offs as well). Dar
has been tough on Warne and has not let himself be pushed around. Giving
Lee out in Australia's first innings was a stroke of umpiring genius and
all of the not outs due to small inside edges on LBW appeals have shown top
umpires operating well.

Australia

Hayden - still looks like he has no confidence. he played some terrible
shots in the 2nd innings with no feet movement at all. This has been going
on for 18 months now and I am starting to have real concerns that he could
be under pressure for his spot in the team by the end of the series. As a
result, I don't think we will get off to the starts we did in the last
series in Australia.
Langer - Has been taking some silly short singles and really shouldn't have
let the 2nd ball of the game hit him (I thought he had broken his arm
looking at the instant black egg that appeared). But looked good in both
innings and will score heavily this series. Had a great year last year and
will have another good one this year.
Ponting - Still falling over to the off side too much. Still playing loose
shots (e.g. the way he got out in the 2nd innings). But, unlike Hayden, he
looks to be about to break through into some good form. I think he has
struggled to captain the team and maintain his batting. I think he is good
enough to learn to do both. Thought his bowler rotation was good, still
looks a little like a mental patient some times.
Martyn - I have given up on him ever moving his feet. I thought the way he
got out in the first innings was terrible (a silly one day shot that didn't
need to be played). However, in the second innings I thought he showed that
he would again be a force in this Ashes series. A good level headed foil
for some of his more attacking colleagues.
Clarke - Was under quite a bit of pressure in the second innings. Has not
batted well in the past 7 or 8 tests. Played a good, controlled innings in
the 2 innings and showed he has a future at this level of the game. Has
never really faced a top class pace attack so if he does well in this
series, can really cement his spot for some time to come. Needs to pace his
innings a little better though. Once he got to 70 or so really started
playing a shot a ball and this cost him his century. We do need someone
under 35 in this team so I am sort of relying on him to come good !
Katich - I still think that anyone with this sort of technique should not
be allowed to play in the 2nd Park 11. However, was the only one of our
batsmen that seemed to understand that we were not batting on a first day
Adelaide pitch in the first innings. Batted sensibly in both innings and is
exactly what we will need in this series (as the other batsmen will no
doubt mainly try to blast the England attack apart and this won't always
work).
Gilchrist - Took attacking far too far in the first innings and, in the
second innings, showed where every bowler should bowl to him (bowl from the
right side of the stumps, angle in and you will often hit the top of his
off stump). Roebuck called him the 3rd best cricketer in history recently
and I agree with whatever Peter tells me so I have no doubt that he will
still be the danger man. His keeping has looked good (I don't often say
that !). it may well be because I am comparing him against the woeful
performance of Geraint Jones. However, he took a great catch off Flintoff
in the second innings, keep well to Warne and was fairly tidy to Lee, etc.
Lee - I am glad he is back in the team. There, I have said it. But, I am
sick of Botham, Lehman, Hussain, etc, etc telling me that they can't
believe he didn't play test cricket for 2 years. I can : He bowled terribly
and averaged about 45 per wicket in the 18 months or so leading up to his
dropping. Has dropped his pace a little, has much better control and is a
much more worrying bowler. Needs to make sure he doesn't over do the
bouncers but he is a good foil for our other 2 aging medium pacers
(Gillespie looks 43 at the moment). One last thing : Brett, I for one don't
believe that you don't bowl those beamers on purpose. It smacked slightly
of desperation doing it to Pieterson.
Warne - Is he being serious when he bats do you think ? He may as well take
strike 2 feet outside off stump. Never had much heart for anything quick
and seems to have gotten worse. Speaking of bad, I saw the worse
advertisement of all time with him and Gooch advertising Advanced Hair
yesterday. Oh, how far "Hollywood" Warne has fallen. However, bowling wise,
he is evergreen. Yes, he is not the same bowler of 93 - 95 or so. Yes, he
now really only has 2 balls : His leggie and that out of the hand thing
that he gave a funny name to; "Zooter" I think it was. His flipper is
glaringly absent and he hasn't bowled a wrongun for years. However, his
mind is still sharp and his control is still excellent. His setup of Bell
in the 2nd innings was classic Warne and no one really looked like they
could play him. Will again be a major factor in this series and probably
one of the main differences between the team. If he can keep his private
life from affecting his game or his will to play, he could still be a
factor the next time Australia is in England. Truly the best leg spinner of
all time (although that could be the cold medication taking)
Gillespie - A very strange start to the one day series for Gillespie. He
looked well below par and was hammered. Still does not look good but has
improved greatly since he was hit for 6 in the last over of the Bangladesh
game. Seems to occasionally get "Old Man Disease", a illness that makes him
perform like a 67 year old who has been forced to run around the local
neighbourhood all day. Has it quite badly at the moment but is on the
improve and I expect his to be at something near his top by the 3rd test.
McGrath - What can you say about this guy ? Almost never gets injured and
is showing no signs of being on the way out. Rose to the occasion like all
champions do in England's first innings. He just bowls the same ball every
ball all day. At 130km/h this would normally be a hindrance. The thing is,
this ball is a really good one. If we hadn't of had Lillee in the 70s and
80s, McGrath would be our greatest ever quick. Oh, now that he has his
signature "61" bat, seems to have improved his batting as well. A great
little 20 in our second innings. Toughs out the short pitched bowling when
batting (Mr Warne could learn a thing or two from him in this regard).

England

Trescothick - No one with foot movement like this will consistently get
runs against the current Australian team. Like Katich, I think people with
techniques like his should be banned from the game. Never in the hunt in
the first innings. Looked better in the second but, like many of his team
mates, looked all at sea against Warne. Will have a score or 2 this series
but will usually go early, usually a victim of McGrath.
Strauss - Sorry, I am just not convinced about Strauss. I can't put my
finger on it but I just don't feel like his will do well in this series.
Sure, it could be because he is a "Smirker" as my wife calls him. However,
more likely to be that he seems to wait for short balls and not know how to
score when they are not there. Like Trescothick, looked like he will have
problems against Warne this series.
Vaughan - This is a real worry for England. I really rated Vaughan after
his tour to Australia. We just could not get the guy out ! I expected him
to again score heavily but seems to have totally and utterly lost it. Is
the captaincy proving too much ? It often happens (see Ponting as a
example, back it up with Botham). England need to make a decision. Can he
captain the team well and bat well ? If the answer is no, get Trescothick
to captain (he won't be making many runs anyway) and let Vaughan
concentrate on batting. He is all class when batting well. It was so sad to
see him looking at the pitch and shaking his head harder than Gatt the pie
man after Warne's first ball in 1993. Michael, you played all around an
absolutely straight one, let's not pretend it did anything. I am also going
to be a little tough on his captaincy. His bowling of Giles after lunch (or
was it tea, I was ill remember) to Clarke cost England the game. Clarke was
out of sorts and under pressure but plays spin excellently. Giles didn't
turn anything and Martyn and Clarke played him easily and had an end of no
pressure for quite a few overs. Clarke will want to shake Vaughan's hand
for playing him into form.
Bell - I had never seen Bell and I unfortunately took an instant dislike to
him as soon as I laid eyes on him. I am sorry, but I am going to extend my
criteria for banning people from playing test cricket to also include
anyone who looks a little a Rat. Under this tough new set of rules, Ratty
Bell would have to leave the team. We have an appearance to keep up you
know. Oh, his batting you ask. Looked lost in the first innings and soon
was. Someone had told him to use his feet against Warne in the second
innings. He tried and he looked like me coming down the track to Dave when
my left shoulder still wasn't working. Has to pick the ball to come down
and do something when he gets there; dancing down the track to push at a
ball that you have let bounce and is a foot further to off than you though
it would be is just a sure fire way to look silly against Warne. However,
was the patsy in one of the best new entries in Warne's soon to be released
"How to set up batsmen bowling leg spin". The 5 balls that Warne bowled to
him and set him up for the worst shot played in this game off the 6th (lbw,
not playing a shot to Warne's zootery thing) were a good as anything Warne
has ever done, even in his prime.
Pieterson - I think Kevin is a total boof head (he is mates with Warne,
what else can I say). I also think his technique is awful and will cost him
dearly in test cricket. I now also think he is a superstar. He just has
something that no one else in the game has. I think it is star quality. He
just seems like he is in a movie where he is the hero. Played a very level
headed innings in the 1st innings and again looked good in the 2nd. Even
played some off drives. His 6 off Lee in the second innings was something
that our children and grandchildren will be reading about in cricket
history books like we do about Viv Richards getting 291, etc. Will get out
cheaply a few times in this series but, worryingly, we didn't seem to know
how to bowl to him. Even looked like he was not overawed by Warne. He is by
far the mentally toughest of the English cricket team and so will be a good
guy to have in the dressing room. This could be the start of the real next
Superstar of English cricket. N.B.1. He was out to Lee's full toss though,
perhaps that is how we should bowl to him. N.B.2. really needs to work on
his catching
Flintoff - Looked great with the ball in Australia's first innings and
still looked pretty good in their second. Will take quite a few wickets
this series. Could Gilchrist be his bunny ? However, I do not think he is a
test number 6 with the bat. I am sure he could monster some average attacks
and score some runs but I think he will struggle batting wise this time.
Should obviously be in the team on his bowling alone though, his batting is
just a bonus.
G Jones - I could write paragraphs about Geraint. Let me be brief : He is
simply not a test keeper and is bringing the entire art form down. When you
make Gilchrist look like a class stumper, the writing is on the wall. He
one handed drop (McGrath I think) was woeful; no feet movement, went one
handed when he could have used 2. His drop off the looping glove from
McGrath was, I hope, the final nail in his coffin. most 10 year olds would
have caught that. Add to this his extreme general messiness and multiple,
multiple fumbles from balls that were left or throws from the boundary and
I almost had to look away. Remember, the keeper sets the tone for the
fielding. I think it is no coincidence that England were very bad in the
field in our second innings when Geraint was at his worst. His batting is
not good enough for England to suffer the consequences of his keeping.
Giles - Like Hoggard, the balance of the team looks good with Giles in it.
However, is no Phil Tuffnell and Australia are notoriously severe on finger
spinners. Will struggle unless he starts spinning it.
S Jones - I liked what I saw. Again, provides balance to the English attack
but being a little different again (quick and skiddish). Kept trying hard
in Australian's second innings even when his team kept letting him down
with their catching. Will take wickets this series.
Hoggard - The only English seamer who I don't think has looked good. I
think Hoggard will have tough time this series as he swings from the hand,
is medium pace and doesn't always swing it. However, he provides good
balance to this good bowling attack if he can keep up the swing.
Harmison - Looks a class bowler now and none of the Australian's played him
well. If can he keep this up for the entire series will be a constant
handful with his pace and bounce. I thought he could have stopped hitting
us after making poor little Ricky bleed though. His bowling in Australia's
first innings was top class. Like McGrath, he rose when his team needed him
to and that says a great deal about his new found mental toughness.

Elation, Despair, Depression, deep depression and ranting

2005-07-21T16:30:00.000-07:00

What can you say about today then?

I despaired when I heard that Australia had won the toss. It was vital that we won it.

I was elated with the performance of the England pace attack. It really reminded me of the great West Indian team of 1984. The aggression, the pace, and the hostility.

Little did I know what was to follow.

Having sneaked out of work to go to the pub at lunchtime we returned to the office grinning like Chesire Cats. We disturbed the old birds having their lunches by jumping up and yelling when Gilchrist went.

The Landlady popped her hear round to see what was going on, saying:

‘…eh? Oh, I thought it were a fight like.’

Colin Farris who I work is not one to get carried away and rather annoyingly kept saying ‘Australia have to bowl on this as well.’ I don’t like my moments of euphoria being interrupted by cold clinical analysis. The reason being, is that Colin is always right. This is down to his large brain that constantly bamboozles everyone at work. Even now as he reads this he will be correcting my spelling and grammar.

As McGrath tucked into our top order, Colin kept reminding me that this would happen.

Our top three it has to be said look pretty flimsy. We all wondered what would happen when Pietersen came in at something like 60–4. We never expected 20–4!

Lets take some positives out of this though. We did bowl really well. The Aussies were rattled.

We’re only 98 behind.

I don’t have a ticket for Sunday.

Colin is not in the office tomorrow.

Nail Your Colours to the Mast

2005-07-21T00:59:00.000-07:00

It’s the eve of the Ashes and all the talking is nearly done.

So here goes with my predictions:

Australia to retain the Ashes having held England 2–2.

England’s Top Batsman to be Strauss.

England’s Top bowler to be Jones.

Come on then lads, lets have your predicitons…………..

Just to whet your appetite some more:

Cricinfo - And so it begins

The most interminable build-up to the biggest series of modern times is behind us, and tomorrow, at 10.30am BST, England and Australia will get on with the main event of the summer.

BBC SPORT | Cricket | Ashes 2005 | Ponting laughs off 'old men' slur

Australia captain Ricky Ponting has shrugged off claims that his bowling attack is too old to win the Ashes.

The Ashes need a spark and some fire

In the next few weeks, it’s the turn of The Ashes to produce a spectacle worthy of cricket’s oldest international contest.

The Advertiser: The fast bowlers ready to rock the Ashes [21jul05]

IN 1964 the Beatles conquered Australia. Yesterday another Fab Four prepared to repay the favour in London.

Australian fast bowlers Glenn McGrath, Jason Gillespie, Brett Lee and Michael Kasprowicz found time amid their hectic build up to today's first Ashes Test at Lord's to visit Abbey Road.

FOX SPORTS | Breaking News | Thorpe hammers Ashes hint (July 21, 2005)

ENGLAND discard Graham Thorpe has handed the selectors a timely reminder of his Ashes credentials.